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"I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve."
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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
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Personal Development
"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
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Personal Development
"You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country."
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Personal Development
"I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To begin with, I dined there on Monday, and once a week is quite enough to dine with one's own relations."
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Personal Development
"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."
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Personal Development
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"Art without emotion its like chocolate cake without sugar. It makes you gag."
Art
"If I had lady-spider legs, I would weave a sky where the stars lined up. Matresses would be tied down tight to their trucks, bodies would never crash through windshields. The moon would rise above the wine-dark sea and give babies only to maidens and musicians who had prayed long and hard. Lost girls wouldn't need compasses or maps. They would find gingerbread paths to lead them out of the forest and home again. They would never sleep in silver boxes with white velvet sheets, not until they were wrinkled-paper grandmas and ready for the trip."
Imagination
"I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve."
Satire
"And that's the problem. When you'realive, people can hurt you. It's easier to crawl into a bonecage or a snowdrift of confusion. It's easier to lock everybodyout.But it's a lie."
Resilience
"If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem."
Rebellion
"Why are you being so mean?'Friends tell friends the truth.'Yeah, but not to hurt. To help."
Honesty
"No. Absolutely not. I forbid it. You'll have nightmares.' 'She was my friend! You must allow me. Why are you so horrid?' As soon as the angry words were out of my mouth, I knew I had gone too far. 'Matilda!' Mother rose from her chair. 'You are forbidden to pseak to me in that tone! Apologize at once."
Life
"One had to be careful with elbows and boys."
Adolescence
"It doesn't matter where I go, I don't want to be there. And then I get to the next place, and I don't want to be there either."
Existentialism
"I drift into the armpits of strangers, tasting their manic salt, and sleep to forget everything."
Emotion
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