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Dave Barry

"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."

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"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."

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Akiroq Brost

"Does a population have informed consent when that population is not taught the inner workings of its monetary system, and then is drawn, all unknowing, into economic adventures?"

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Akiroq Brost

"Generally speaking, our prisoners were capable of loving animals, and if they had been allowed they would have delighted to rear large numbers of domestic animals and birds in the prison. And I wonder what other activity could better have softened and refined their harsh and brutal natures than this. But it was not allowed. Neither the regulations nor the nature of the prison made it possible."

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Akiroq Brost

"Rootlessness," I opine, "is the twenty-first century norm.""You're not wrong and that's why we're in the shit we're in, mate. If you belong nowhere, why give a tinker's toss about anywhere?"

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Akiroq Brost

"Half of the world population is dying from poverty and hunger and still you think you are not rich enough."

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Akiroq Brost

"The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away."

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Akiroq Brost

"A lot of attention has been given over to the Catholic Churches sexual abuse of children in their care, but this attention seems to have been hijacked by the media and has overshadowed the many thousands of victims that endured physical abuse."

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Akiroq Brost

"The meanest most contemptible kind of praise is that which first speaks well of a man and then qualifies it with a 'but'."

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Akiroq Brost

"The essence of Richard Nixon is loneliness."

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Akiroq Brost

"I think I can speak for every Senator, saying that he or she ran for the Senate because we want to help make this a better place; that is, we want to help our States and help America."

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Akiroq Brost

"Though the earth contains greater energy and mass than any single being, linked together, "people make the world go-round"."

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Dave Barry
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
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"As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse."
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Dave Barry
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
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Dave Barry
"My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible."
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Dave Barry
"The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire."
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Dave Barry
"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."
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Dave Barry
"Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance."
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Dave Barry
"Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash."
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Dave Barry
"At a national political convention, you have hundreds of people who consider themselves at least as important as the Secretary of Commerce. If it's a Democratic convention, you also have dozens of A-list Hollywood and music celebrities. (If it's a Republican convention, you have Bo Derek.) Also you have swarms of lower-ranking Washington minions with titles like Deputy Assistant to the Associate Deputy Assistant Chief of Staff who are trying to move up the ladder to Deputy Associate to the Assistant Acting Deputy Assistant Understudy."
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Dave Barry
"Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything."
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