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"Once you were in the hands of a Grand Vizier, you were dead. Grand Viziers were always scheming megalomaniacs. It was probably in the job description: "Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted minister."
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"On the other hand, the vast majority of all westernized countries, including every single European country along with Israel and Japan, do not offer birthright citizenship."
"You can become a politician and improve the institutions of power in your country."
"The trouble with Nixon is that he's a serious politics junkie. He's totally hooked and like any other junkie, he's a bummer to have around, especially as President."
"The habit of using ardent spirits by men in office has occasioned more injury to the public and more trouble to me than all other causes. Were I to commence my administration again the first question I would ask respecting a candidate for office would be Does he use ardent spirits?"
"Earthquake means destruction; dictator means destruction! In the case of earthquake, you need a strong building; in the case of dictator, you need an educated rational mind, because an irrational ignorant mind always serves the dictator!"
"Crimes sometimes shock us too much; vices almost always too little."
"National transformation is also attainable through the simple principle of Truth and Honesty."
"Thus, the controversy about the Moral Majority arises not only from its views, but from its name - which, in the minds of many, seems to imply that only one set of public policies is moral and only one majority can possibly be right."
Explore more quotes by Terry Pratchett
"That's the fashion. Fast as the speed of light, they say. Ha! It's got no soul, sir, no heart."
"He stared at his feet. "I'm still very ignorant, he said, "but at least I'm ignorant about really important things."
"Time was something that largely happened to other people; he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle."
"Ye mustn't be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time."
"Why are our people going out there, said Mr. Boggis of the Thieves' Guild.Because they are showing a brisk pioneering spirit and seeking wealth and additional wealth I na new land, said Lord Vetinari."What's in it for the Klatchians? said Lord Downey."Oh, they've gone out there because they are a bunch of unprincipled opportunists always ready to grab something for northern, said Lord Vetinari."A mastery summation, if I may say so, my lord, said Mr. Burleigh. The Patrician looked down again at his notes. "Oh, I do beg your pardon, I seem to have read those last to sentences in the wrong order."
"Mums are mums, lance-constable. They don't like to see men managing by themselves, in case that sort of thing catches on."
"And Dil was realizing that there are few things that so shake belief as seeing, clearly and precisely, the object of that belief. Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed anymore."
"The universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. There is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it."
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