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"One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough."
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"It's so hard to know what to do when one wishes earnestly to do right."

"You can be arrested and not charged. You can be arrested and have no right to counsel."

"The river is constantly turning and bending and you never know where it's going to go and where you'll wind up. Following the bend in the river and staying on your own path means that you are on the right track. Don't let anyone deter you from that."

"Those from whose pocket the salary is drawn, and by whose appointment the officer was made, have always a right to discuss the merits of their officers, and their modes of exercising the duties they are paid to perform."

"He must not laugh at his own wheeze: a snuff box has no right to sneeze."

"If there were no rules about when to applaud, we in the audience would have the right response almost always."
Explore more quotes by James Thurber

"The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic."

"The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth."

"Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!"

"I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness."
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