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"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
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"To think, when one is no longer young, when one is not yet old, that one is no longer young, that one is not yet old, that is perhaps something."
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"Asia is not going to be civilized after the methods of the West. There is too much Asia and she is too old."
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"Very interesting for an old duffer like me to try his hand at something new. If I don't do that once in a while, I might just turn into a fossil, you know!"
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"To be seventy years young is sometimes for more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old."
Explore more quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."

"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything."

"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
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