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"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
Old,
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"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."
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Personal Development
"Old and young disbelieve one another's truths."
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Personal Development
"A new philosophy generally means in practice the praise of some old vice."
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Personal Development
"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything."
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Personal Development
"It is better to be young in your failures than old in your successes."
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Personal Development
"I was sympathetic to virtually all groups that wanted to get away from the old system."
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Personal Development
"There's still is a status-quo group at City Hall who likes things done the old way, behind closed doors."
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Personal Development
"Old soldiers never die; they just fade away."
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Personal Development
"Everybody is doing the same old thing."
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Personal Development
"There are more old drunkards than old physicians."
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Personal Development
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"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
Body
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
Men
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
People
"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."
Funny
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
God
"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."
Family
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
Old
"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."
People
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
Reason
"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."
Law
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