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"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
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"Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always makes you less than you are."
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"That was one of the best, exciting things for me to play with them. They were very young and eager to go. I'd been playing with a band that was mostly old folks that had been together so long we couldn't do anything to excite each other."
"New York lost a classic. Carmine was an old school New Yorker."
"A museum has to renew its collection to be alive, but that does not mean we give on important old works."
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"Redd Foxx was the same gruff old codger you saw on television."
Explore more quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything."
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