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"I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad."
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"Once a baby is born, the parents have around one and a half decades to build his or her character and fill the mind with vigour and virtues."
"Beating children will not make them wise. They will grow wilder and wilder and the cane will feel like paper on their skins."
"Tiffany jumped when she saw a balloon sail up above the trees, catch the wind, and swoop away, but it turned out to be just a balloon and not a lump of excess Brian. She could tell this because it was followed by a long scream of rage mixed with a roar of complaint: "AAaargwannawannaaaagongongonaargggaaaaBLOON! which is the traditional sound of a very small child learning that with balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point of balloons is to teach small children this."
"Don't box your children in and tell them that everything is a sin. You'll produce either rebels, or very boring people."
"Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer."
"Teach the children compassion and empathy, for all creatures are born selfish."
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
"The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics."
"There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring."
"We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do."
"People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans."
"People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'"
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