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"You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle!"
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"Ultimately, I'm a mess. I don't mean I'm a mess, like, emotionally - I mean, I think probably everybody's a mess. David's a mess. But. I'm talking about... I'm messy."

"Travelling is almost like talking with those of other centuries."

"Everybody's just been spilling their guts all over records and talking about how hard it is to be an entertainer and how much we get hated on and what we have to go through. But I ain't really got it that bad. I'm just happy to be here."

"When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished."

"I learn all these things about the record talking about it after it's finished."

"I've never really been star struck. I was a little bit taken aback when I was doing a chat show recently and I was sat in the make-up chair chatting to a guy say next to me but I couldn't look round and see who it was, it was only when I got up I realised it had been Bryan Adams I'd been talking to!"

"I'm dealing with things as they come along, and I'm talking about it."

"If I go to a seminar and someone like you or someone like him is talking, I'm never part of the group that rushes him directly afterward. I always wait in the back corner with my head down until everyone is gone, and then I go up and do my thing."

"When I'm talking to a large audience, I imagine that I'm talking to a single person."

"Ever see a little kid walking around talking to himself? I'm the same way."
Explore more quotes by Bert Kalmar

"I'll see you at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat til you get there. After that you're on your own."

"You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle!"
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