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"Don't draw the line before stupidity. It'll take it as a start."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
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Personal Development
"If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass."
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Personal Development
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"Every woman with her own makeup!"
Self
"Body language has no translation."
Observation
"Once you drop a mask, you can never wear it again."
Self
"They would sweep their poverty under the carpet if only they had one."
Society
"There are 31.536.000 seconds in a year. I am counting down every second."
Time
"Give a man a finger, he'll put a wedding ring on it!"
Humor
"Men can go to hell! I'll meet them there."
Emotion
"He has his head in the clouds. He must live in a skyscraper."
Perspective
"God shows us the path, the Devil shows us the possibilities."
Philosophy
"I know the power of speech. I don't talk much."
Wisdom
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