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"Don't draw the line before stupidity. It'll take it as a start."
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"Give a man a finger, he'll put a wedding ring on it!"
Humor

"I have nothing to lose. I keep all my valuables in a safe."
Life

"They were all on his side. Hi boat sank."
Life

"In women he doesn't trust! He is an atheist."
Philosophy

"I got married. A bright past is ahead of me!"
Life

"Keep trying?I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky."
Motivation

"The differences between women are all cosmetic."
Social

"The key to happiness is under the doorstep rug."
Happiness

"To err is human. To count other people's errors is humane."
Learning

"It's easy to count other people's mistakes. Make your own if you can."
Learning
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment."
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Personal Development

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
Author Name
Personal Development

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
Author Name
Personal Development
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