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"Lucien, women are wondrous, mysterious, and magical creatures, who should be treated not only with respect but with reverence, perhaps even awe. Now go sweep the steps."
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"Lovers look in the pants, they look in the eyes."
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Personal Development
"Polygamy is about sex, whereas monogamy is about love."
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Personal Development
"Meeting, for the first time in person, someone that you've 'known' for sometime online = Taking the relationship to the 'previous' level."
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Personal Development
"We fellowship with God when we fellowship with people."
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Personal Development
"She had accepted him as he was and had spared him a great deal of loneliness. He had been unfair: while his imagination and vanity had given her too much importance, his pride had given her too little. He discovered the cruel paradox by which we always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."
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Personal Development
"People who inspire such contradictory emotions must be worthwhile, I reasoned."
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Personal Development
"I had never really thought of marriages as things that involved liking. I had just assumed this man-woman arrangement was yet another adult quirk, like flossing."
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Personal Development
"People do change. And no matter how close we once were, and how much we opened up to each other, maybe neither of us know anything substantial about the other."
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Personal Development
"I'm my beloved's and my beloved is mine."
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Personal Development
"To a man, a woman is fun to be with - until she gains weight. To a woman, a man is fun to live with - until he loses his job."
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"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."
Humor
"The Painting is not shit,' said Lucien.'I know,' said Henri. 'That was just part of the subterfuge. I am of royal lineage; subterfuge is one of the many talents we carry in our blood, along with guile and hemophilia."
Deception
"And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?"
Protection
"But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age.''I thought you liked redheads.''I do. What's your point?"
Stereotype
"Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate."
Philosophy
"It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husband's graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death."
Suffering
"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"
Humor
"My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate."
Humor
"Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit."
Hope
"Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."
Critique
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