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"Eric called Al's suicide brave, and he was wrong. My mother's death was brave. I remember how calm she was, how determined. It isn't just brave that she died for me; it is brave that she did it without announcing it, without hesitation, and without appearing to consider another option."
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"We have errantly romanticized love as something we freely get verses something we sacrifice for in the giving."

"The cross unerringly exposes this stunningly marvelous and abruptly exquisite declaration that God will not let this single life of mine, with all of its grotesque maladies and pathetic filth pass into oblivion without unflinchingly declaring that my life carries a value worth the expenditure of His. And if I dare look upon the cross, I am utterly perplexed but wholly enraptured by the immensity of such a love as this."

"Because what my gradmother did with her fine coat (the loveliest thing she would ever own) is what all women of that generation (and before) did for their families and their husbands and their children. They cut up the finest and proudest parts of themselves and gave it all away. They repatterned what was theirs and shaped it for others. They went without. They were the last ones to eat at supper, and they were the first ones to get up every morning, warming the cold kitchen for another day spent caring for everyone else. This was the only thing they knew how to do. This was their guiding verb and their defining principle of life: They gave."

"The great lack of parity between husbands and wives has always been spawned by the disproportionate degree of self-sacrifice that women are willing to make on behalf of those they love."

"We've yet to comprehend the impervious reality that to gain 'life' we have to do the most scandalous thing imaginable, and that is to work 'against' the whole of our humanity and give everything away. And yet to give everything away is to work 'with' the whole of God's character."

"Nowadays the dynamic element is more important in chess - players more often sacrifice material to obtain dynamic compensation."
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"I'll be your family now," he says. "I love you," I say. (....)He stares at me. I wait with my hands clutching his arms for stability as he considers his response. He frowns at me. "Say it again.""Tobias," I say, "I love you."


"It happened. It was awful. You aren't perfect. That's all there is. Don't confuse your grief with guilt."


"Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one. We can't escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other."


"The hurts from my last day with my father are healed now, but I want to remember where they were; I want to remember what I escaped for as long as I live."


"I have a scar-a faint gouge in my knee from when I fell down on the sidewalk as a child. It's always seemed stupid to me that none of the pain I've experienced has left a visible mark; sometimes, without a way to prove it to myself. I began to doubt that I had lied through it at all, with the memories becoming hazy over time. I want to have some kind of reminder that while wounds heal, they don't disappear forever- I carry them everywhere, always, and that is the way of things, the way of scars.That is what this tattoo will be, for me: a scar. And it seems fitting that it should document the worst memory of pain I have."


"Il dolore aveva un suo modo di scomporre il tempo. Pensavo al minuto successivo, all'ora successiva. Non c'era abbastanza spazio nella mia mente per mettere insieme tutti quei pezzi, per trovare le parole per riassumerla nella sua interezza.Ma la parte dell'"andare avanti", per quella le parole le avevo.'Trova un modo per andare avanti' dissi. 'Non deve necessariamente essere buono, o nobile. Basta che sia un motivo.'Conoscevo il mio: c'era una fame dentro di me e c'era sempre stata. Una fame piA1 forte del dolore, piA1 forte dell'orrore. Continuava a mordere anche dopo che ogni altra cosa dentro di me si era arresa. E quando finalmente le diedi un nome, scoprii che era qualcosa di molto semplice: desiderio di vivere."


"I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me."
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