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"This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him."
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"I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different."
"I don't use the twang bar anymore. It's become too popular."
"I do not expect that homeopathy will ever be established as a legitimate form of treatment, but I do expect that it will continue to be popular."
"Until a few years ago, the topics in my Ph.D. were unfashionable, but they are very popular today."
"My skin is more beautiful than yours. I would be quite more popular in jail if I so chose."
"It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime."
"The way I see it, all the popular singers are strippers."
"I wasn't the most popular girl in school by any means."
"What's right isn't always popular. What's popular isn't always right."
Explore more quotes by Conan O'Brien
"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
"Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity."
"Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'"
"Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'"
"Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans."
"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."
"President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003."
"John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."
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