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"If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny."
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"Working is hard and distracts from having fun."
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Personal Development
"It's fun to sing sad songs. And it's fun to listen to sad songs. Enjoyable. Satisfying. Something."
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Personal Development
"Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream; nobody is too old for cartoons; bald men are sexy; chocolate is the best medicine; BIG books are better; cats secretly rule the planet; and everything should be available in the color pink, including monster trucks."
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Personal Development
"It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified."
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Personal Development
"It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget."
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Personal Development
"What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down."
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Personal Development
"Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun."
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Personal Development
"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."
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Personal Development
"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."
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Personal Development
"Yes, I see the Mobile Base System really is the shoulder of the arm. The arm is right there, like a human arm. It's really funny to look at the similarities between a human arm and the Canadian robotics arm."
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"I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings."
Humor
"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them."
Opinion
"If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny."
Fun
"My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews."
Family
"If somebody on this team actually gets to first base, I'll stand there naked."
Humor
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