"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

Old, Security

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"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

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"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Old,

"Old and young disbelieve one another's truths."

Mason Cooley, American Writer

Old,

"A new philosophy generally means in practice the praise of some old vice."

Gilbert K. Chesterton, English Writer

Old, Philosophy, Practice, Praise

"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Old,

"It is better to be young in your failures than old in your successes."

Flannery O'Connor, American Author

Old,

"I am too old for an eyebrow piercing but too young for an eyebrow lift."

Max Cannon, American Artist

Old,

"I was sympathetic to virtually all groups that wanted to get away from the old system."

Clarence Thomas, American Judge

Old,

"I started skating when I was six years old."

Nancy Kerrigan, American Athlete

Old, Years

"There's still is a status-quo group at City Hall who likes things done the old way, behind closed doors."

Laura Miller, American Politician

Old,

"Old soldiers never die; they just fade away."

Douglas MacArthur, American Soldier

Old, Soldiers

Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."

God

"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

Car

"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

Car

"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

Car

"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."

School

"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"

Fire

"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years.""

Time

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Exlpore more Old quotes

"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."

"Old and young disbelieve one another's truths."

"A new philosophy generally means in practice the praise of some old vice."

"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything."

"It is better to be young in your failures than old in your successes."

"I am too old for an eyebrow piercing but too young for an eyebrow lift."

"I was sympathetic to virtually all groups that wanted to get away from the old system."

"I started skating when I was six years old."

"There's still is a status-quo group at City Hall who likes things done the old way, behind closed doors."

"Old soldiers never die; they just fade away."

Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."

"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."

"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."

"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."

"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"

"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years.""