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"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
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"In our heads we're all about 33 years old."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The Helicon of too many poets is not a hill crowned with sunshine and visited by the Muses and the Graces, but an old, mouldering house, full of gloom and haunted by ghosts."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You just witnessed an old-fashioned rump kicking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No one longs to live more than someone growing old."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Old and young, we are all on our last cruise."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is better to be young in your failures than old in your successes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Old foxes want no tutors."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One thing is certain. The old Piper Laurie is no more."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow."
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Personal Development
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"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
Humor
"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
Humor
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
Car
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
Woman
"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
Woman
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
Emotional
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
Home
"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."
Vacation
"I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes."
Society
"Written on her tombstone: 'I told you I was sick."
Humor
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