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"I don't ridicule religion, it ridicules itself."
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"You could just as well say that an agnostic is a deeply religious person with at least a rudimentary knowledge of human fallibility."
"God has forgiven and still forgives us when we repent from our sins, an indication that we are not called to sin, but to live in accordance with His will."
"Pious people spoke to God, and crazy people imagined that God spoke back."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."
"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
"When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain."
"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"
"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all."
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