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"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
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"Love your haters, they're the ones who are really paying attention to you."

"Not only believe in yourself but trust in yourself. Confidence will bloom."

"Be firm. Be strong."

"Take control from the moment you step in her place. She'll be pleasantly surprised and impressed."

"Be bold! You will then see that life will find no time to attack you, because you are attacking it!"

"With some money in your pocket you walk confidently, you talk confidently and you work confidently."

"Acting with confidence, but inside lacking certainty, I'd told her I could."

"The monitors indicated that it was a credible election, I think, in an overall sense, it apparently is a free and fair election, so it's a real milestone and one of the things we can take some little confidence in."

"Sometimes things work just because you think they work. It's as good a definition of faith as any."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

"As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse."

"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."

"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."

"Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything."

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
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