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"We all want something else other than what we have and don't realize what you got works. It works. It does work. You gotta work. Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure."
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"Our national media refuses to report that even the Supreme Court did not say marriage was a human right in all cases nor did it say that the heterosexual definition violated anyone's right or that the heterosexual definition of marriage was unconstitutional."
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Personal Development
"Just as one has no choice but to defecate, one has no choice but to get married. If your mind remains single, then there is no problem. However, one has no choice but marry if the mind is already married."
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Personal Development
"A young man married is a man that's marred."
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Personal Development
"A man with a good wife is the luckiest of God's creatures, and one without must be among the most miserable, I think, the only true blessing of their lives that they don't know how poorly off they are."
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Personal Development
"I think that's one of the most difficult things in any marriage - in order to build anything, you must be together. You can't build anything over the telephone."
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Personal Development
"When she had first crossed the dry and dusty world which his mind inhabited she had been like a spring shower; in opening himself to it he had not been mistaken. He had gone wrong only in assuming that marriage, by itself, gave him either power or title to appropriate that freshness. As he now saw, one might as well have thought one could buy a sunset by buying the field from which one had seen it."
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Personal Development
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
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Personal Development
"Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage."
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Personal Development
"What tale do you like best to hear?' 'Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same theme - courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage."
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Personal Development
"What nonsense people talk about happy marriages!" exclaimed Lord Henry. " A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her."
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"But I said wait a minute, I'm going to get a computer, I can do this as well as anybody else. So I did some studying so I knew what kind of boards to get to put a PC together. But there was a guy sitting there with Apple. I said, 'what's that?' and he goes, 'Apple with 128k, it's all built into the box,' and I bought it. That was my first computer."
Computer
"I'm under stress. They killed me on wikipedia. They killed me. And I didn't stay dead long enough to sell no DVDs. I didn't even stay dead long enough - I was too stupid. I should've stayed low. I should've laid low. I could've been gone for a year; I'd have made money. And then I'd have risen from the dead."
Money
"I was in the Air Force and was a boom operator (in-flight refueling). I got my comedy start in the Air Force."
Comedy
"If you got a name like Barack Obama, you're supposed to fight."
Fight
"We all want something else other than what we have and don't realize what you got works. It works. It does work. You gotta work. Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure."
Marriage
"Here's the thing about Apple, we complain and they give us more battery life. We complain and they'll give us more stuff. Everything's beta right now. Everything's experimental. They really don't know what people want."
Life
"We ask for way too much stuff - way too much stuff. You got a job making $100 a year and bought a house for $3 million. Talking about, 'I don't know what happened with the payment.'"
Job
"Don't let people treat you like you're stupid. If it sounds too good to be true, it is."
People
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