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Matshona Dhliwayo

"Falling in love is not the problem, hitting your head on the way down is."

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"Falling in love is not the problem, hitting your head on the way down is."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

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Amber Hurdle

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

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Amber Hurdle

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."

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Amber Hurdle

"Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes."

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Amber Hurdle

"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."

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Amber Hurdle

"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."

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Amber Hurdle

"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."

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Amber Hurdle

"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"

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Matshona Dhliwayo
"You are beloved; even if you were the last person on earth, the sun would rise for you."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"A cat may have nine lives, but a wise person has a hundred."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"Pleasure is a kind servant, but a cruel master."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"Wisdom is the greatest speaker in history; nature, second. Folly is the worst speaker in history; fools, second."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"Do good. Spread love. Embrace all. Hurt none."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"Thoughts are powerful; before you were born, you were one."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"To walk in the footsteps of the great, put on their shoes."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"A small idea with wings will take you higher than a big one with legs."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"Don't believe a man will give you the world if he doesn't even buy you flowers."
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Matshona Dhliwayo
"If you feed a child, you strengthen him for a day; if you educate him, you strengthen him for a lifetime."
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