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Emo Philips

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

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"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

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Donna Grant

"That most limited of all specialists, the "well-rounded man"."

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Donna Grant

"The world system is employment."

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Donna Grant

"A butler supplies food to nourish your body, but a writer nourishes your mind through writing."

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Donna Grant

"Do not be weary to make money."

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Donna Grant

"My favourite all-time work of fiction: Lord of the Rings. My favourite all-time nonfiction book: Guns, Germs, and Steel. Ask me again next week, you'll get a different answer."

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Donna Grant

"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."

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Donna Grant

"Work was intended not to give a man a reason to live, but rather to give him a means to live."

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Donna Grant

"Be robust enough to work more than a robot!"

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Donna Grant

"Being happy at work is possible for all of us, anytime & anywhere, with open eyes and a caring heart."

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Donna Grant

"Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work."

Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."
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Emo Philips
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
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Emo Philips
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
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Emo Philips
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
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Emo Philips
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
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Emo Philips
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
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Emo Philips
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
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Emo Philips
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
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Emo Philips
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
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Emo Philips
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
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