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"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
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"That most limited of all specialists, the "well-rounded man"."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The world system is employment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A butler supplies food to nourish your body, but a writer nourishes your mind through writing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Do not be weary to make money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Work was intended not to give a man a reason to live, but rather to give him a means to live."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Be robust enough to work more than a robot!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Being happy at work is possible for all of us, anytime & anywhere, with open eyes and a caring heart."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Do all the work you while you still have strength."
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Personal Development
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"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
Family
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
Night
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
Sex
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
Coffee
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
Computer
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
Time
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
Evil
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
Work
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