"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

Work, Night

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"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

Exlpore more Work quotes

"That most limited of all specialists, the "well-rounded man"."

F. Scott Fitzgerald, American Author

Work, Skill, Identity, Expertise, Education

"The world system is employment."

Sunday Adelaja, Nigerian Author

Work, World, System, Employment, Control

"A butler supplies food to nourish your body, but a writer nourishes your mind through writing."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Work, Butler, Writer, Mind

"Do not be weary to make money."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

Work, Do, Weary, Money, Life

"My favourite all-time work of fiction: Lord of the Rings. My favourite all-time nonfiction book: Guns, Germs, and Steel. Ask me again next week, you'll get a different answer."

Orson Scott Card, American Writer

Work,

"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Work, Truth, Life, Happiness, Regret

"Work was intended not to give a man a reason to live, but rather to give him a means to live."

Criss Jami, American Philosopher

Work, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Power

"Be robust enough to work more than a robot!"

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah, Ghanaian Author

Work, Effort, Strength

"Being happy at work is possible for all of us, anytime & anywhere, with open eyes and a caring heart."

Sharon Salzberg, American Author

Work, Happiness, Heart, Care

"Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Work, Life, Truth, Regret, Today

Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

England

"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."

Night

"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."

Family

"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

Night

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

First

"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."

Sex

"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

Coffee

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

Love

"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

Computer

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

Time