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"It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money."
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"Now, come over here so I can pat you down.""But you don't have-" Percy stopped. "Uh, sure."He stood next to the armless statue. Terminus conducted a rigorous mental pat down."You seem to be clean," Terminus decided. "Do you have anything to declare?""Yes," Percy said. "I declare that this is stupid."
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Personal Development
"The disease which inflicts bureaucracy and what they usually die from is routine."
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Personal Development
"Americans spend 3 billion hours per year filling out tax forms and keeping tax records."
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Personal Development
"If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork."
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Personal Development
"Lefever describes his financing plan with modesty:"'Our detailed budget is realistic, but does not take into account the inflation that may occur before September 1983. The one place it could cut or reduce is item 7, the simultaneous interpreter services, if these services could be provided gratis by the U.S. government.'""In other words, the only way to make a saving on a U.S.-subsidized project is to take money out of another U.S.-subsidized column."
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Personal Development
"It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money."
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Personal Development
"I've never been married and I've no more desire to be married now than I ever have. I hate bureaucracy and I am not religious."
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Personal Development
"But in Africa bureaucrats are usually too proud to accept a bribe, something I admire when I'm not the one being arrested."
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Personal Development
"It's no accident that in a bureaucracy getting fired is called 'termination,' as in ontological erasure."
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Personal Development
"Taxes for people with too much damned time on their hands."
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Personal Development
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"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
Woman
"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
Government
"You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke."
May
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
Nothing
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
Government
"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us."
Government
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."
History
"The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?"
People
"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid."
Experience
"Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper."
Family
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