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"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there."
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Exlpore more Boston quotes
"I was also the romantic lead in The Boston Strangler - I was the only one that lived to tell the story - so I called myself the romantic lead."
"In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series."
"Was the crew well? Was I not? I had profited in many ways by the voyage. I had even gained flesh, and actually weighed a pound more than when I sailed from Boston."
"The word survivor suggests someone who has emerged alive from a plane crash or a natural disaster. But the word can also refer to the loved ones of murder victims, and this was the sense in which it was used at a four-day conference in early June at Boston College."
"I guarantee you, if you could give me 10 points in all those seventh games against the Boston Celtics, instead of Bill Russell having 11 rings, I could've at least had nine or eight."
"My ship was also in better condition than when she sailed from Boston on her long voyage. She was still as sound as a nut, and as tight as the best ship afloat. She did not leak a drop - not one drop!"
"In New York, you couldn't wish for a nicer audience, or in L.A., Chicago, Boston. But when you get into secondary markets, they don't have a clue."
Explore more quotes by Fred Allen
"An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match."
"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."
"I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars."
"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart."
"Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything."
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