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"The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him."
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"So the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund is out there preserving and fighting for, and sometimes winning and sometimes losing, the fight for First Amendment rights in comics and, more generally, for freedom of speech."
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"It was not possible to broadcast any of that because of an agreement between Jackson and the family. Our legal advice was that we could not broadcast it."
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"God is the King. In him exists all legal authority."
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"Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage."
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"Understand that legal and illegal are political, and often arbitrary, categorizations; use and abuse are medical, or clinical, distinctions."
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"I think a child should be allowed to take his father's or mother's name at will on coming of age. Paternity is a legal fiction."
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"The legal right of a taxpayer to decrease the amount of what otherwise would be his taxes, or altogether avoid them, by means which the law permits, cannot be doubted."
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"Daley may not feel a moral responsibility to eliminate discrimination but he has a legal obligation to do so."
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"It is not unprofessional to give free legal advice, but advertising that the first visit will be free is a bit like a fox telling chickens he will not bite them until they cross the threshold of the hen house."
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"I believe that President Clinton considered the legal merits of the arguments for the pardon as he understood them, and he rendered his judgment, wise or unwise, on the merits."
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"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is."
Army
"President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader."
American
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea."
Destruction
"Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid."
Being
"I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor."
Movies
"You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things."
Work
"McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done."
Death
"I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character."
Character
"The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1."
Internet
"There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!"
Heart
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