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"We transported eight giraffes, and there are now nine because one gave birth to a male shortly afterwards. They carry their pregnancies very well-they all looked the same."
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

"Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail."

"The month of January, we were number one. Now, this is something we're proud of, because we recognize we're up against a formidable operation there at CNN."
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"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."

"Damn the sword! When Virginia wanted a sword, I gave her one. Now she sends me a toy! I require bread!"
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"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
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"I would have had my patent long, long ago, and it would have run out long, long ago. I would have made, maybe, $100.000, much less that the patent has brought me now."
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Explore more quotes by Joanna Lumley

"If you're an enthusiast and you love the world like I do, it comes naturally. But I think charity must become more fun to give, more interactive and imaginative."

"I've got lots of good friends. I could have affairs. I can read a book all night, put the cat on the end of the bed. I can pick up my passport and go to France. I don't have to ask anybody."

"I never mind scrubbing floors, vacuuming or bending and carrying stuff. Each time I do it I think, this is instead of going to the gym."

"We met and married when both of us knew exactly what our jobs were. He was only 32, but he'd been all over the place. I'd been working on films and television shows all over the world."

"It's an incredibly difficult thing to bring a giraffe down. They can kill a lion with a single blow from their feet."

"Hundreds of political prisoners still suffer in Tibetan prisons. Freedom of speech is not allowed in any sense. It is illegal to possess a photo of the Dalai Lama."

"You have to feel more involved than just writing out a cheque. Charity is almost the wrong word - I think people are beginning to feel more responsible for the world."

"I have a toy giraffe on my bed. I've got photographs over my desk as well as a mask of a giraffe in my kitchen. I am totally hooked."

"Though I was a mother at 21, being a grandmother makes the whole thing absolutely normal and gorgeous. The relief, the joy of being a grandmother is wonderful."
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