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"My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever."
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"I do enjoy working with Ryan although he owes me money."
Money
"Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises."
Famous
"I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work."
Work
"I have many favorite artists... Van Gogh as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!"
Artist
"We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out."
Deep
"Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?"
Act
"Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries."
Mother
"I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine."
Challenge
"Give me liberty or give me a bran muffin!"
Liberty
"I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned."
Project
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"We are capable of great works through the mighty power of the Holy Spirit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You have divine abilities for a great mission."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Between natural ability and education choose natural ability, as it will keep you happy and will fetch you the glory sooner."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We are capable of greatness."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It takes nearly as much ability to know how to profit by good advice as to know how to act for one's self."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like to think of sales as the ability to gracefully persuade, not manipulate, a person or persons into a win-win situation."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A book comes and says, "Write me." My job is to try to serve it to the best of my ability, which is never good enough, but all I can do is listen to it, do what it tells me and collaborate."
Author Name
Personal Development
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