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"I am most proud of my integrity and least proud of my cynicism."
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"No matter how kind you are, always expect a few imbeciles."

"When young people are cynical, and snarky, they shoot down their own future. When you keep saying "No," all that's left is what other people said "Yes" to before you were born. Really, "No" is no choice at all."

"Most cynics are really crushed romantics: they've been hurt, they're sensitive, and their cynicism is a shell that's protecting this tiny, dear part in them that's still alive."

"Motivating people, forcing them to your will, gives you a cynical attitude toward humanity. It degrades everything it touches."

"It is through experience that I have lost faith in USA law enforcement."

"She liked me because she said that we both hated everything and knew that friendship was an act of desperation. She said that for a man I was alright. She said that people were half-way and if it was up to her a lot of people would get killed and a lot of men would be walking around without their balls. She said that they should go on sale for women to hang off their rearview mirrors."

"All these handsome guys are the same. When they're done combing their goddam hair, they beat it on you."

"You're not exactly up for the Humanitarian of the Year award, so save your altruism for someone who can't see through you like cellophane."

"Really high-minded people are indifferent to happiness, especially other people's."

"Anything that has cynicism to it and that's jaded is smutty."
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