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"Cricket is basically baseball on valium."
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"Hitting a baseball well, as in cricket, is a very rare skill. One of most difficult things to do in the world to do, hitting a ball coming at you at ninety miles an hour with a round bat. Wonderful to watch."
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Personal Development
"I always get very calm with baseball."
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Personal Development
"When I was in baseball and you went into the clubhouse, you didn't see ball players with curling irons."
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Personal Development
"The Oakland clubhouse is a wonderful place. A lot of these guys feel like rejects. They were rejects and they feel - they can tell you how baseball screwed up."
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Personal Development
"If I walked back into the booth in the year 2025, I don't think it would have changed much. I think baseball would be played and managed pretty much the same as it is today. It's a great survivor."
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Personal Development
"It's no secret what's going on in baseball. At least half the players are using steroids."
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Personal Development
"I've always been like that. I was a tomboy when I was a kid, so I was always playing baseball and basketball and football and stuff as a kid with the boys."
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Personal Development
"Baseball is dull only to dull minds."
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Personal Development
"October, that's when they pay off for playing ball."
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Personal Development
"Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?"
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"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
Right
"I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out."
Woman
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."
Right
"The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery."
Right
"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
Drink
"Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!"
Business
"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."
Doubt
"When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?"
Family
"If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?"
Network
"We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself."
Dictatorship
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