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"Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk."
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"The ordinary scientific man is strictly a sentimentalist. He is a sentimentalist in this essential sense, that he is soaked and swept away by mere associations."
"Brave men are all vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle."
"Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others."
"Pride slays thanksgiving, but an humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves."
"Civilized society is perpetually menaced with disintegration through this primary hostility of men towards one another."
"A businessman is the only man who is forever apologizing for his occupation."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
"We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on."
"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony."
"The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon."
"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
"Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off."
"For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting."
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