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"Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk."
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"When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package."

"After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands."

"The ideas gained by men before they are twenty-five are practically the only ideas they shall have in their lives."

"It is the child in man that is the source of his uniqueness and creativeness, and the playground is the optimal milieu for the unfolding of his capacities and talents."

"The historian must have some conception of how men who are not historians behave. Otherwise he will move in a world of the dead. He can only gain that conception through personal experience, and he can only use his personal experiences when he is a genius."

"The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley


"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."


"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."


"After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year."


"The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon."


"Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it."


"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."


"A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death."
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