"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy."

Satire, Humor, Writing, Advice

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"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy."

Exlpore more Satire quotes

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Satire, Russia, Denial, Irony, Humor

"Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts."

Fakeer Ishavardas, Indian Spiritual Leader

Satire, Religion, Critique, Faith

"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Satire, Technology, Isolation, Reality, Critique

"Happiness is a good business these days, more you talk crap about happiness the large number of crowd you will gather."

Santosh Kalwar, Nepalese Poet

Satire, Happiness, Business, Irony, Truth

"Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say 'attaboy'."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Satire, Religion, Irony, Humor

"It is difficult not to write satire."

Juvenal, Roman Poet

Satire,

"Logically enough, the office and the nunnery have been singularly popular in the imaginations of pornographers. We should not be surprised to learn that the erotic novels of the early modern period were overwhelmingly focused on debauchery and flagellation amongst clergy in vespers and chapels, just as contemporary Internet pornography is inordinately concerned with fellatios and sodomies performed by office workers against a backdrop of work stations and computer equipment."

Alain de Botton, English Writer

Satire, Religion, Office, Society, Irony

"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country."

George Byron, Scottish Poet

Satire, Chivalry, Country, Right, Spain

"Pray don't talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Weather, Irony, Speech, Fear

"Punctuality is the thief of time."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Time, Loss, Truth, Irony

Explore more quotes by Dorothy Parker

"I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid."

Romance

"Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw -- I don't say she will but she can."

Humor

"If wild my breast and sore my pride,I bask in dreams of suicide,If cool my heart and high my headI think 'How lucky are the dead."

Philosophy

"It cost me never a stab nor squirm To tread by chance upon a worm. 'Aha my little dear' I say 'Your clan will pay me back one day.'"

Revenge

"If I didn't care for fun and such,I'd probably amount to much.But I shall stay the way I am,Because I do not give a damn."

Rebellion

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

Wit

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."

Wit

"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

Humor

"There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil."

Education

"Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both."

Relationship