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"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy."
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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."
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Personal Development
"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."
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Personal Development
"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."
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Personal Development
"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
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Personal Development
"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
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Personal Development
"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."
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Personal Development
"Never make fun of people who are different...unless they have more money, power and influence. Then you must."
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Personal Development
"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."
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Personal Development
"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."
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Personal Development
"We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."
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"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy."
Satire
"Scratch a lover and find a foe."
Relationship
"Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye."
Art
"Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship."
Friendship
"By the time you swear you're his,Shivering and sighing.And he vows his passion is,Infinite, undying.Lady make note of this --One of you is lying."
Romance
"Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw -- I don't say she will but she can."
Humor
"Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?"
Love
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
Society
"And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word."
Creativity
"I shall stay the way I am Because I do not give a damn."
Identity
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