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"I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart."
Author Name
Personal Development
"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I would rather play Hamlet with no rehearsal than TV golf."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Golf courses sell real estate and that's why they're built."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All I want to do is do my shows and play golf."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Playing golf is like learning a foreign language."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I understand why marriages break up over golf. I can't even talk about my own handicap because it's too upsetting."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Almost a quarter of our planet is a single mountain range and we didn't enter it until after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin went to the moon. So we went to the moon, played golf up there, before we went to the largest feature on our own planet."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I can't hit a ball more than 200 yards. I have no butt. You need a butt if you're going to hit a golf ball."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Those years on the golf course as a caddie, boy, those people were something. They were vulgar, some were alcoholics, racist, they were very difficult people to deal with. A lot of them didn't have a sense of humor."
Humor
"This Administration has led us into an area without vision. Bush has no clear understanding of what is being asked of the citizens, and the military is under his direction."
Vision
"I am a very conscientious golfer. I count every stroke. I learned to play that way. That is the only way I can play. It taught me to be honest. There is no greater virtue than honesty."
Honesty
"I think the Church is a conduit to God. The Church is not God. And I think that from the very beginning Jesus taught us that."
God
"I started caddying when I was nine years old at a very exclusive country club in Dayton, Ohio. And I saw how the other half lived, if you will."
Country
"Don't invade Iraq. Inspections work, war won't."
War
"George W Bush is like a bad comic working the crowd, a moron, if you'll pardon the expression."
Expression
"What we try to say is that it doesn't matter if you are a Republican or a Democrat or conservative or independent. You are equally responsible for your place in the culture, and you must make a contribution, and you must accept responsibility for what goes down on your watch."
Conservative
"No, no, I never despair, because George Bush is not running the universe. He may be running the United States, he may be running the military, he may be running even the world, but he is not running the universe, he is not running the human heart."
Heart
"I am not the President. Instead, I hold an even higher office, that of citizen of the United States."
Office
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