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"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."
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"When a child is bruised physically or emotionally, parents often reward him with a treat."

"For a while we lived in a tent we'd pitched inside his parents' house and we slept on pillows."

"Grilling outside with my parents at the Jersey shore. We would grill lobster and corn in the summer."

"Usually I'll go to San Diego to hang out with my parents if I want to unwind."

"If I could do one thing over I'd have been nicer to my parents."
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield


"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."


"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."


"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."


"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
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