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Jerry Seinfeld

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."

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"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have only ever made one prayer to God, a very short one: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it."

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Amber Hurdle

"The artist is chosen by God to fulfill his commands and must never be overwhelmed by public opinion."

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Amber Hurdle

"In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you."

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Amber Hurdle

"God is more interested in your future and your relationships than you are."

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Amber Hurdle

"God's angels often protect his servants from potential enemies."

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Amber Hurdle

"Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is in general good reason to suppose that in several respects the gods could all benefit from instruction by us human beings. We humans are - more humane."

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Amber Hurdle

"A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have always believed in God."

God,

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Jerry Seinfeld
"Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
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Jerry Seinfeld
"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
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Jerry Seinfeld
"That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."
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