top of page
.png){kind=small}
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
Standard
Customized
More
"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Humor
"The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."
Humor
"Never let your education interfere with your learning."
Advice
"You can find in a text whatever you bring, if you will stand between it and the mirror of your imagination. You may not see your ears, but they will be there."
Perception
"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
Wisdom
"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."
Woman
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt."
Wisdom
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
Wisdom
"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today."
Humor
"Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!"
Humor
bottom of page