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"Everyone should live to be 92 years old, have an orgasm and drop dead."
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"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."
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"A new philosophy generally means in practice the praise of some old vice."

"We are who we're going to be when we're very old, and when we're very old we are who we were when we were 8."
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"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
Explore more quotes by Jon Carroll

"I think the thing to remember, though, the next time you hear someone who is really certain that he is on the side of the angels, is that the idea of angels was created by human beings, who are famous for being frequently untrustworthy and occasional."
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