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"Everyone should live to be 92 years old, have an orgasm and drop dead."
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"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."
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"We owned a bearded collie for many years. Sophie. She was old, and she died last year."

"And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world it is best to hold hands and stick together."

"You must not pity me because my sixtieth year finds me still astonished. To be astonished is one of the surest ways of not growing old too quickly."
Explore more quotes by Jon Carroll

"I think the thing to remember, though, the next time you hear someone who is really certain that he is on the side of the angels, is that the idea of angels was created by human beings, who are famous for being frequently untrustworthy and occasional."
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