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"I'll die young, but it's like kissing God."
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"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

"The confidence in another man's virtue is no light evidence of a man's own, and God willingly favors such a confidence."

"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it."
God,

"Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?"
Explore more quotes by Lenny Bruce

"I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do."

"The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is."

"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't."

"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know."

"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."
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