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"All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm's way."
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Exlpore more Boundaries quotes
"He was not my boyfriend. On the other hand, he wasn't just a friend either. Instead, our relationship was elastic, stretching between those two extremes depending on who else was around, how much either of us had to drink, and other varying factors. This was exactly what I wanted, as commitments had never really been my thing. And it wasn't like it was hard, either. The only trick was never giving more than you were willing to lose."
"The desire to be nice to everyone and please everyone and the inability to firmly say no is what destroys believers most of all."
"While you will certainly attract more bees with honey, there are times when being nice can backfire. Take it from a naturally kind person, being a "bitch has its time and place. There will be times when you must engage with mean, rude, and inconsiderate people."
"Never place your happiness in someone else's hands because if they walk away, so does your happiness."
"ASK YOURSELF: Have you found that being nice to some people is simply not effective? When might it be wise to throw down the gauntlet and get tough or confrontational?"
"Stop chasing people who keep running away from your presence, because even if you succeed in catching them, sooner or later they would run away."
"Let the boundlessness be your boundary!"
"Just as the unwanted pregnancy, there are unwanted people in your life you should strive to abort, and such abortion is not sin, nor harm, but the eradication of a destructive foetus."
"Wouldn't you rather have the respect of your friends and colleagues than succumb to pressure to do and say things that are out of character in order to feel accepted? You can overcome this habit simply by learning to say "no."
"Don't get me wrong, she was an attractive girl, but the last thing she needed was to get mixed up with me."
Explore more quotes by bell hooks
"None of us, irrespective of our sexual preference and/or practice, imagine that we can have an intimate relationship with a partner and always have seamless harmony. Indeed, most of us assume that once the "honeymoon period is over differences will emerge and conflicts will happen. Positively, we also assume that we will be "safe" in those moments; that even if voices are raised and emotions expressed are intense, there will not be and should not be any abuse or any reason to be unsafe, and that the will to connect and communicate will prevail."
"What's really sad is that so many young women between the ages of 16 and 25 are ignorant and they already believe that women get the same pay as men. They don't even really understand that equality hasn't happened with the pay force."
"I think the number one thing Black women and all Black people should be paying attention to is our health."
"Masses of the people think that feminism is always the only about women seeking to be equal to men. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media."
"Maintaining connections with family and community across class boundaries demands more than just summary recall of where one's roots are, where one comes from. It requires knowing, naming, and being ever-mindful of those aspects of one's past that have enabled and do enable one's self-development in the present, that sustain and support, that enrich. One must also honestly confront barriers that do exist, aspects of that past that do diminish."
"The power of patriarchy has been to make maleness feared and to make men feel that it is better to be feared that to be loved. Whether they can confess this or not, men know that just is not true."
"Relationships are treated like Dixie cups. They are the same. They are disposable. If it does not work, drop it, throw it away, get another.Committed bonds (including marriage) cannot last when this is the prevailing logic. Most of us are unclear about what to do to protect and strengthen caring bonds when our self-centered needs are not being met."
"An often-repeated assertion in the body of film criticism I have written is the assertion that movies do not just mirror the culture of any given time they also create it."
"The practice of love offers no place of safety. We risk loss, hurt, pain. We risk being acted upon by forces outside our control."
"Erotic attraction often serves as the catalyst for an intimate connection between two people, but it is not a sign of love. Exciting, pleasurable sex can take place between two people who do not even know each other. Yet the vast majority of males in our society are convinced that their erotic longing indicates who they should, and can, love. Led by their penis, seduced by erotic desire, they often end up in relationships with partners with whom they share no common interests of values."
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