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"But I said wait a minute, I'm going to get a computer, I can do this as well as anybody else. So I did some studying so I knew what kind of boards to get to put a PC together. But there was a guy sitting there with Apple. I said, 'what's that?' and he goes, 'Apple with 128k, it's all built into the box,' and I bought it. That was my first computer."
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"Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm too old-fashioned to use a computer. I'm too old-fashioned to use a quill."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"But I said wait a minute, I'm going to get a computer, I can do this as well as anybody else. So I did some studying so I knew what kind of boards to get to put a PC together. But there was a guy sitting there with Apple. I said, 'what's that?' and he goes, 'Apple with 128k, it's all built into the box,' and I bought it. That was my first computer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading manuals without the software."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Few companies that installed computers to reduce the employment of clerks have realized their expectations... They now need more, and more expensive clerks even though they call them 'operators' or 'programmers.'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Our lives sometimes depend on computers performing as predicted."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Because I believe that humans are computers, I conjectured that computers, like people, can have left- and right-handed versions."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Computers have become more friendly, understandable, and lots of years and thought have been put into developing software to convince people that they want and need a computer."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"But I said wait a minute, I'm going to get a computer, I can do this as well as anybody else. So I did some studying so I knew what kind of boards to get to put a PC together. But there was a guy sitting there with Apple. I said, 'what's that?' and he goes, 'Apple with 128k, it's all built into the box,' and I bought it. That was my first computer."
Computer
"Here's the thing about Apple, we complain and they give us more battery life. We complain and they'll give us more stuff. Everything's beta right now. Everything's experimental. They really don't know what people want."
Life
"We ask for way too much stuff - way too much stuff. You got a job making $100 a year and bought a house for $3 million. Talking about, 'I don't know what happened with the payment.'"
Job
"Don't let people treat you like you're stupid. If it sounds too good to be true, it is."
People
"We all want something else other than what we have and don't realize what you got works. It works. It does work. You gotta work. Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure."
Marriage
"I'm under stress. They killed me on wikipedia. They killed me. And I didn't stay dead long enough to sell no DVDs. I didn't even stay dead long enough - I was too stupid. I should've stayed low. I should've laid low. I could've been gone for a year; I'd have made money. And then I'd have risen from the dead."
Money
"If you got a name like Barack Obama, you're supposed to fight."
Fight
"I was in the Air Force and was a boom operator (in-flight refueling). I got my comedy start in the Air Force."
Comedy
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