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"When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me."
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"True friendship is a house where we can take off our masks."
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Personal Development

"To lose a worthless friend is worthy of a testimony."
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Personal Development

"A true friend is a reflection of yourself."
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Personal Development

"Good fences make good neighbors, and these were apparently good enough that they had not felt the need for razor wire at the top. I crested the fence, threw myself into the yard beyond, fell, rolled to my feet, and ran with the expectation of being garroted by a taut clothesline.I heard panting, looked down, and saw a gold retriever running at my side, ears flapping. The dog glanced up at me tongue rolling, grinning, as though jazzed by the prospect of an unscheduled play session."
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Personal Development

"I to myself am dearer than a friend."
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Personal Development

"One friend in a storm is worth more than a thousand friends in sunshine."
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Personal Development

"A friend is someone who will always be there for you, in good and hard times."
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Personal Development

"Maybe Lindsay and I are best friends and we hate each other, both. Maybe I'm only one math class away from being a slut like Anna Cartullo. Maybe I am like her, deep down. Maybe we all are: just one lunch period away from eating alone in the bathroom. I wonder if it's ever really possible to know the truth about someone else, or if the best we can do is just stumble into each other, heads down, hoping to avoid collision."
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Personal Development

"Don't appreciate me, I'm not up to it. Don't criticize me, I don't deserve it. Just be my friend and forgive me, because I am craving for it."
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Personal Development

"If you fulfill God's will, then God will always be your friend."
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"I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college."
College

"People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something."
People

"I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything."
Music

"My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh."
People

"I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny."
Family

"I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved."
Years

"There's nothing wrong with trying to reach out to new fans."
Fans

"My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh."
People

"I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself."
Character

"Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable."
Thought
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