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"You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people."
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"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."
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Personal Development
"Fun is never gone because life is fun."
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Personal Development
"Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed."
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Personal Development
"I'm one of those writers who tends to be really good at making outlines and sticking to them. I'm very good at doing that, but I don't like it. It sort of takes a lot of the fun out."
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Personal Development
"Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say No when they mean Yes, and drive a man out of his wits for the fun of it."
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Personal Development
"Working is hard and distracts from having fun."
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Personal Development
"Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something."
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Personal Development
"Kids cannot follow stories. They don't know what the hell is going on in a cartoon. They like to see funny visual things happening."
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Personal Development
"I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go."
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Personal Development
"The Britney Spears movie was just fun and light, but let's talk about that in a few months."
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Personal Development
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"A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation."
Life
"I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television."
Television
"That's one of the nice things. I mean, part of the beauty of me is that I'm very rich. So if I need $600 million, I can put $600 million myself. That's a huge advantage. I must tell you, that's a huge advantage over the other candidates."
Beauty
"I wasn't satisfied just to earn a good living. I was looking to make a statement."
Living
"I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's were the fun is."
Fun
"My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States."
Nation
"It's not like I'm anti-China. I just think it's ridiculous that we allow them to do what they're doing to this country, with the manipulation of the currency, that you write about and understand, and all of the other things that they do."
Nation
"Experience taught me a few things. One is to listen to your gut, no matter how good something sounds on paper. The second is that you're generally better off sticking with what you know. And the third is that sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make."
Experience
"The Arab League tells us to go in and take out Qaddafi. We've spent billions of dollars already with respect to the Arab League. Billions of dollars, because they told us to do it. Why aren't they paying for it? They don't like Qaddafi, Qaddafi's been a terrible thorn in their side."
Respect
"Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game."
Motivational
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