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"It's no use filling your pocket with money if you have got a hole in the corner."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Waste is Criminal."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm stingy and I'm proud of the reputation."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."
Man
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Funny
"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."
People
"The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."
Education
"I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies."
Enemy
"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."
Constitution
"In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing."
People
"I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."
Party
"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."
Baby
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