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"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."
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"I really do hope that the Millennium Summit gives new impetus to the work of the United Nations."
"Anytime we can take narcotics off the street it is significant because it takes them out of the hands of children. It certainly is not going to stop the drug problem, we have to work very, very hard."
"Give a typical employee a million, and, he is most likely to use the money to print his CV on fancier paper."
"For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work."
"The artist likes to seem totally responsible for his work. Often he begins to explain it, to make it appear as if it were a reasonable process."
"Working overtime is an underpaid man's salvation."
"I enjoy my work. I haven't been an actor for 30 years without getting pleasure out of the profession."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley
"The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon."
"Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off."
"We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on."
"A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death."
"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."
"After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year."
"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other."
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