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"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."
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"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."
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Personal Development
"The streets were dark with something more than night."
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Personal Development
"Don't think that because you haven't heard from me for a while that I went to sleep. I am still here, like a spirit roaming the night. Thirsty, hungry, seldom stopping to rest."
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Personal Development
"There's no night without stars."
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Personal Development
"One night Roger was in a foul mood and he threw his entire bloody drumset across the stage. The thing only just missed me - I might have been killed."
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Personal Development
"His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum."
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Personal Development
"When the bus or the plane rolled or flew through the night, they sang songs of their own composition about Mr Nixon and the Republicans in chorus with the Kennedy staff and felt that they, too, were marching like soldiers of the Lord to the New Frontier."
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Personal Development
"I never expected that. I didn't aim for that. All I wanted was to get some nice pictures of trains at night."
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Personal Development
"I play against a front and a back every night, Ming does not have to do that, Duncan does not have to do that, Garnett doesn't do that. I am the only one that has to do that."
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Personal Development
"Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it."
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"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
Age
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"
Building
"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
Thought
"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."
Night
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
Car
"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."
Now
"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"
Blind
"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"
Kitchen
"I went window shopping today! I bought four windows."
Windows
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
Drink
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