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"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."
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"One night Roger was in a foul mood and he threw his entire bloody drumset across the stage. The thing only just missed me - I might have been killed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"As the blackness of the night recedes so does the nadir of yesterday. The child I am forgets so quickly."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I can find in my undergraduate classes, bright students who do not know that the stars rise and set at night, or even that the Sun is a star."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Most of those mocking us and our works night after night have not reached the point of suggesting we are going to use those weapons. They are pretty useless right now."
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Personal Development
"There's always some promoter having an '80s night, saying, We'll supply the band. All you can drink."
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Personal Development
"I wasn't angry the night I shot him."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I started working when I was seven and I was working for five dollars a night at the Met."
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Personal Development
"I read a poem every night, as others read a prayer."
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Personal Development
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"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"
Kitchen
"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
Age
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"
Driving
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
Drink
"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."
Now
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"
Building
"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"
Blind
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
Car
"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
Thought
"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."
Night
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