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"It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people."
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"Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated."
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Personal Development
"We all know what Parliament is, and we are all ashamed of it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
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Personal Development
"Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good."
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Personal Development
"I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes."
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Personal Development
"There shall be no end to the government of God."
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Personal Development
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
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Personal Development
"Which government is the best? The one that teaches us to govern ourselves."
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Personal Development
"The ugliest government is the one which is spreading fear to its own people! The finest government is the one which encourages its own people to criticize the government harshly."
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Personal Development
"The best government is that which teaches us to govern ourselves."
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"I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me."
People
"Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it."
Being
"I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance."
Chance
"It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people."
Government
"I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place."
Being
"Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science."
Science
"But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that."
Funny
"A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh."
Nothing
"If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too."
Work
"I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real."
Comedy
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