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"There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do."
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"What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise."
Gratitude
"It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form."
Being
"It is always good policy to tell the truth unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar."
Truth
"I attribute the quarrelsome nature of the Middle Ages young men entirely to the want of the soothing weed."
Nature
"There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do."
Fun
"The weather is like the government, always in the wrong."
Government
"If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest."
Humility
"People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained."
Business
"We drink one another's health and spoil our own."
Health
"It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar."
Truth
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"It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified."
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Personal Development
"Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun."
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Personal Development
"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."
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Personal Development
"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."
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Personal Development
"I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go."
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Personal Development
"Fun is never gone because life is fun."
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Personal Development
"Fun is a good thing but only when it spoils nothing better."
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Personal Development
"Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed."
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Personal Development
"Remember these two things: play hard and have fun."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm one of those writers who tends to be really good at making outlines and sticking to them. I'm very good at doing that, but I don't like it. It sort of takes a lot of the fun out."
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Personal Development
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