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Erma Bombeck

"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."

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"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."

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Donna Grant

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

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Donna Grant

"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."

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Donna Grant

"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."

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Donna Grant

"You can find women who have never had an affair, but it is hard to find a woman who has had just one."

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Donna Grant

"The Cause of Women is generally the Cause of Virtue."

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Donna Grant

"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."

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Donna Grant

"Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths."

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Donna Grant

"I was never very interested in boys - and there were plenty of them - vying with one another to see how many famous women they would get into the hay."

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Donna Grant

"Every woman is just a different kind of problem."

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Donna Grant

"The three great problems of this century; the degradation of man in the proletariat, the subjection of women through hunger, the atrophy of the child by darkness."

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Erma Bombeck
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
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Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
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Erma Bombeck
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
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Erma Bombeck
"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years.""
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Erma Bombeck
"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."
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Erma Bombeck
"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
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Erma Bombeck
"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
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Erma Bombeck
"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."
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Erma Bombeck
"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."
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