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Emo Philips

"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

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"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

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Donna Grant

"To me, there is something superbly symbolic in the fact that an astronaut, sent up as assistant to a series of computers, found that he worked more accurately and more intelligently than they. Inside the capsule, man is still in charge."

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Donna Grant

"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."

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Donna Grant

"I just recently did a film with Disney, and they put the drawings straight on the computer. And it's all painted on the computer now and not by hand anymore."

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Donna Grant

"I'm projecting somewhere between 100 million and 200 million computers on the Net by the end of December 2000, and about 300 million users by that same time."

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Donna Grant

"I've never had Internet access. Actually, I have looked at things on other people's computers as a bystander. A few times in my life I've opened email accounts, twice actually, but it's something I don't want in my life right now."

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Donna Grant

"The ARPAnet was the first transcontinental, high-speed computer network."

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Donna Grant

"One of the problems with computers, particularly for the older people, is they were befuddled by them, and the computers have gotten better. They have gotten easier to use. They have gotten less expensive. The software interfaces have made things a lot more accessible."

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Donna Grant

"My whole life had been designing computers I could never build."

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Donna Grant

"But in fact, when you try to model that on a computer you find that because of the very structure of matter and of the chemical bonds that are the basis of every organism, evolution is not random at all. It will tend to follow certain paths."

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Donna Grant

"We could say we want the Web to reflect a vision of the world where everything is done democratically. To do that, we get computers to talk with each other in such a way as to promote that ideal."

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Emo Philips
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

Night

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Emo Philips
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

First

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Emo Philips
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."

Sex

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Emo Philips
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

Computer

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Emo Philips
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

Time

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Emo Philips
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."

Evil

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Emo Philips
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

Father

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Emo Philips
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."

Life

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Emo Philips
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."

People

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Emo Philips
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

Boxing

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