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"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
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"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."

"Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all."

"Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest."

"To me, there is something superbly symbolic in the fact that an astronaut, sent up as assistant to a series of computers, found that he worked more accurately and more intelligently than they. Inside the capsule, man is still in charge."

"You can involve yourself in electronics, computers, puzzles... there's a lot of creativity and brain working. There's a lot to model trains that people don't realize."

"The trick with computers I think, is to approach old and new things with the same reverence as you would like your favourite chair and not be seduced by the constant innovation otherwise you never do anything."

"You couldn't have fed the '50s into a computer and come out with the '60s."

"I'm thinking of going to programming school. Learn how to sit down at any computer and learn to do anything on it. That's all I have left and have interest in."
Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"

"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
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