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"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
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"Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest."
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Personal Development
"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
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Personal Development
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."
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Personal Development
"Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all."
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Personal Development
"Interactive computers and software will, I think, provide a less costly method of doing some kinds of inquiry, in knowledge acquisition and even reasoning and interaction."
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Personal Development
"I'm not computer literate. I e-mail. I know how to get on the Web, but I haven't crossed over into the internet world. I'm old-fashioned, I guess."
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Personal Development
"We're getting so pulled in by computers and technology, and our kids have their face in the computers all day. The human relationship is being diminished by this."
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Personal Development
"You can involve yourself in electronics, computers, puzzles... there's a lot of creativity and brain working. There's a lot to model trains that people don't realize."
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Personal Development
"The only legitimate use of a computer is to play games."
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Personal Development
"Well, my wife always says to me, and I think it's true, it's very difficult for us to understand the Elizabethan understanding and enjoyment and perception of form as it is to say... it would be for them to understand computers or going to the moon or something."
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"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
People
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
Wife
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
Evil
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
Disaster
"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"
Children
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
Friendship
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
Night
"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."
People
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