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Mitch Hedberg

"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."

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"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."

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Donna Grant

"When you focus on want, you become an endless cycle of wants."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Only those who want everything done for them are bored."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Tyrants seldom want pretexts."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Geniuses are the luckiest of mortals because what they must do is the same as what they most want to do."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I don't have any pangs to where I want to be with the Broncos."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I want to do everything in the world that can be done."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"It's not that you want to sing, it's that you have to sing."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"So basically it's very simple: to start with, if you want to win the match, you shouldn't be afraid of him. There are still many, many things to do, but above all this is the most important: Don't be scared of him!"

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I carry a notebook full of sketches of pictures I want to take - they are really scruffy sketches, but at least I am going out there with a clear objective."

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Mitch Hedberg
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."

Love

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Mitch Hedberg
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

Life

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Mitch Hedberg
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Fun

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Mitch Hedberg
"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."

Word

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Mitch Hedberg
"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."

Want

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Mitch Hedberg
"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."

Saying

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Mitch Hedberg
"I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

Car

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Mitch Hedberg
"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."

Water

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Mitch Hedberg
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

Business

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Mitch Hedberg
"People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."

Life

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