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"In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series."
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"I was also the romantic lead in The Boston Strangler - I was the only one that lived to tell the story - so I called myself the romantic lead."
"What we're about is a manifestation of the Catholic roots of Boston College."
"Was the crew well? Was I not? I had profited in many ways by the voyage. I had even gained flesh, and actually weighed a pound more than when I sailed from Boston."
"My ship was also in better condition than when she sailed from Boston on her long voyage. She was still as sound as a nut, and as tight as the best ship afloat. She did not leak a drop - not one drop!"
"For every $5 that Boston's economy sends up to Beacon Hill, the state gives only $1 back to us."
"I was born in Boston, Massachusetts on May 16, 1923, the only child of Joel and Sylvia Miller."
"Tonight, I am pleased to announce that I have secured $1 million from the Convention Host Committee to fund the beautification of Boston's neighborhoods."
"If Ted Williams just tip his cap once he could be elected Mayor of Boston in five minutes."
Explore more quotes by Craig Kilborn
"President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up."
"The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.'"
"Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch."
"As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we'll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription."
"They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger."
"New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut."
"A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone."
"People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife."
"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'"
"In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series."
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