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"The students that, like the wild animal being prepared for its tricks in the circus called "life", expects only training as sketched above, will be severely disappointed: by his standards he will learn next to nothing."
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"The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded."

"Being "contented" ought to mean in English, as it does in French, being pleased. Being content with an attic ought not to mean being unable to move from it and resigned to living in it; it ought to mean appreciating all there is in such a position."

"A human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself."

"Being born with a pair of beady eyes was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Having had a reputation for being sexy is a great prop to lean on now."

"I was probably being a little cocky, which I do when I feel that I don't know what I'm talking about."
Explore more quotes by Edsger Dijkstra

"I mentioned the non-competitive spirit explicitly, because these days, excellence is a fashionable concept. But excellence is a competitive notion, and that is not what we are heading for: we are heading for perfection."

"Why has elegance found so little following? That is the reality of it. Elegance has the disadvantage, if that's what it is, that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it."

"The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim."

"The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague."

"The ability of discerning high quality unavoidably implies the ability of identifying shortcomings."

"Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure."

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."
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