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"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
Standard
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"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."
Author Name
Personal Development
"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The statements of four witnesses of unquestioned integrity, traveling with me that day, attest that such comments were never made and confirm that it simply did not happen."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A cold atheistical materialism is the tendency of the so-called material philosophy of the present day."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I try to be the best man I can for the day."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I try to swim every damn day I can, and I've learned to scuba dive and snorkel."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The Navy has changed a great deal. Not that the officers of my day were bad, because I served under a lot of good officers, believe me. But there were a few bad ones, too."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I eat a cheeseburger with French fries almost every day."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia."
Lie
"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."
Courtesy
"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."
Cure
"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."
Man
"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
Food
"The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves."
Man
"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."
Fish
"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
Food
"Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life."
Life
"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
Family
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