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"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
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"I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes."
Water
"Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live."
Heart
"Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."
Feet
"A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money."
Money
"Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink."
Experience
"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."
Fish
"There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation."
Time
"I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home."
Home
"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."
Courtesy
"Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned."
May
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"Prayer: the key of the day and the lock of the night."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
Author Name
Personal Development
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Better one's House be too little one day than too big all the Year after."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A cold atheistical materialism is the tendency of the so-called material philosophy of the present day."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Every day, I have a most embarrassing moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No charges have been filed by the L.A. district attorney's office, and for that I am appreciative. I have said it before, but we all make mistakes, and the day will come soon enough where you no longer read of mine in the tabloids."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Miserable is a good thing, though. If you start the day miserable, nobody else can screw up your day."
Author Name
Personal Development
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