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Wilson Mizner

"A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions."

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"A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Suffer fools gladly; they may be right."

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"I'm not going to be caught around here for any fool celebration. To hell with birthdays!"

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"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself."

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Assegid Habtewold

"It seems to never occur to fools that merit and good fortune are closely united."

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Assegid Habtewold

"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."

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Assegid Habtewold

"A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell!"

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Assegid Habtewold

"Better a witty fool than a foolish wit."

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Assegid Habtewold

"The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the older man who will not laugh is a fool."

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Assegid Habtewold

"There are more fools than knaves in the world, else the knaves would not have enough to live upon."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Very often, say what you will, a knave is only a fool."

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"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."
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"God help those who do not help themselves."
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"Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him."
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"The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears."
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"Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something."
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"If you count all your assets you always show a profit."
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"I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own."
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Wilson Mizner
"Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton."
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Wilson Mizner
"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something."
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Wilson Mizner
"I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience."
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