"Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time."

Time, Dumb

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"Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time."

Exlpore more Time quotes

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Time, Life, Measurement, Change

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

F. Scott Fitzgerald, American Author

Time, Past, Change, Possibility, Hope

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Time, Life, Bubble, Ocean

"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."

Henry David Thoreau, American Author

Time, Life, Haste, Housekeeping

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet

Time, God, Idea, Invention

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

Charles Dickens, English Novelist

Time, Work, Process, Patience

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

Hermann Hesse, German Novelist

Time, Eternity

"The value of time is immeasurable."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

Time, Immeasurable, Worth, Life

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

Lauren Oliver, American Author

Time, Moment, World, Stillness

"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Time, Today, Truth, Wisdom, Inspirational

Explore more quotes by Lyndon B. Johnson

"The vote is the most powerful instrument ever devised by man for breaking down injustice and destroying the terrible walls which imprison men because they are different from other men."

Man, Men, Injustice, Vote

"I am a freeman, an American, a United States Senator, and a Democrat, in that order."

Politics, Order, States, United

"Whoever won't fight when the President calls him, deserves to be kicked back in his hole and kept there."

Fight,

"Presidents quickly realize that while a single act might destroy the world they live in, no one single decision can make life suddenly better or can turn history around for the good."

History, Life, Decision, Act

"I report to you that our country is challenged at home and abroad: that it is our will that is being tried and not our strength; our sense of purpose and not our ability to achieve a better America."

Home, Purpose, Strength, Ability

"The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character."

Character, Fact, Man

"A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it."

Man, Open

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Exlpore more Time quotes

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

"The value of time is immeasurable."

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."

Explore more quotes by Lyndon B. Johnson

"I seldom think of politics more than eighteen hours a day."

"Doing what's right isn't the problem. It is knowing what's right."

"I'd rather give my life than be afraid to give it."

"The vote is the most powerful instrument ever devised by man for breaking down injustice and destroying the terrible walls which imprison men because they are different from other men."

"I am a freeman, an American, a United States Senator, and a Democrat, in that order."

"Whoever won't fight when the President calls him, deserves to be kicked back in his hole and kept there."

"Presidents quickly realize that while a single act might destroy the world they live in, no one single decision can make life suddenly better or can turn history around for the good."

"I report to you that our country is challenged at home and abroad: that it is our will that is being tried and not our strength; our sense of purpose and not our ability to achieve a better America."

"The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character."

"A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it."